Tuesday, June 23, 2015

balloons


Bang fired the black gun at the colourful balloons.Moment of truth I said to my self.My heart was pounding while I was closing my eyes.Suddenly out of nowhere all of the colourful balloons exploded.



1 comment:

  1. This is the start of a wonderful piece of writing Finn! You have included a hook at the start of the writing to gain the readers attention, now I think you could look at adding correct punctuation to make the piece of writing flow better.

    Keep working hard on your writing and I look forward to reading more!

    Mr Taylor

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